What Comes First, Your Relationship or Family?

How to Find a Balance


With Harry back in the fold for the funeral of his grandfather, The Duke of Edinburgh, a chance has arisen for reconciliation between the Queen's beloved grandson and his family.  


While Meghan Markle appeared genuinely committed to adapting to royal life at the beginning of her relationship with Harry, it's possible that differences in the couple's belief systems around family caused seismic issues. 


Meghan has a small family unit.  She's a strong and independent character who makes her own choices in life.  Meghan enjoys being centre stage and making her own decisions.


Harry is part of a family who adhere to a marching order of succession.  When they walk into a room, it's in order of perceived 'status'.  Everything they do falls under scrutiny.  As a result, it's important that each individual member puts the family's values first.


It's easy to see why conflict arose between Harry, Meghan and their families.  


He is likely to have found her family's openness with the press difficult.  


She is bound to have found the rigid structure of his family impossible.  


There's no right or wrong here.  The set-ups are just very different.  And, in order to continue on a shared path, Harry has chosen to walk away from much of the life he knew before, while Meghan has distanced herself from her father and step siblings.  


Harry and Meghan's relationship has been blighted by loss.


When we fall in love, it's easy to feel that everything is surmountable.  And in some cases, it is.  But when meeting new people, it's wise to discuss family dynamics and how you can balance these within a new relationship.  The ideal scenario is, of course, shared values and attitudes : understanding is key.


To join Elect Club and start your search for love with the guidance of a dating expert, contact our Head of Memberships, Julie, for an informal chat on 0800 644 4120.